“I Feel Nothing” was written, shockingly, at a time when I felt everything. I was going through an intensely dark period of depression, substance abuse, and dragging myself through the remains of a broken heart. Everything hurt, all the time, and I longed for the day when the chaotic emotional turmoil would just settle down already (completely unaware that two years down the road a global pandemic was cracking its knuckles).
This track was one of the first songs I wrote for the EP No Longer Yours. Fresh off Casualty and its tortuous ballads, I was exhausted of writing (and wallowing) about pain. I desperately needed to convince myself that empowerment was right around the corner, girl! Just hang in there! I wanted a song for how I would eventually feel nothing when my ex’s face smiled up at me from a screen, somehow happy without me. I wanted a reminder that someday, I wouldn’t dissolve into a mess of tears and red wine when I saw his arm slung around his new girlfriend. I wanted an anthem that was far from the teenage angst that hits us all when we’re rejected, dejected, and utterly addicted to refreshing our ex’s socials.
The entirety of No Longer Yours was written from a desperate attempt to skip this heartbreak portion and usher in an era of fierce. To transform from sad and broken to single and “wouldn’t want it any other way.” Late twenties are prime time to reckon with our useless, leftover patterns and sort through the mess. By the time you’re thirty, you roll up your sleeves and Marie Kondo your entire subconscious. It’s a time to cut your metaphorical bangs, glow up, and consciously create who you want to be. I was ready to go from Disney Miley to full-blown Rock Star Miley. Yes, we still love “The Climb” Miley, but we’re also here for the mullet and the motorcycle and the looks.
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